So this is where the magic comes in, I put on YouTube and somehow the TV knows that I love Trevor Noah (is it spying on me?) And the next thing I know I am watching Trevor Noah interview Barack Obama. And shockingly, Barack and I have been sharing some of the same thoughts.
When asked about why things feel so out of control in the world, he said that people find comfort in blame, and in believing things that aren’t true when change is thrust upon them too quickly and so they need to push back in any way they can.
I think that's something we can all relate to. People will believe what they need to believe until they are ready to believe something different, because change is hard and people are only human, with brains that are programmed to protect us in whatever way they can from things that are so traumatizing that they might make it difficult for us to survive.
So what does this have to do with finehiltonheadhomes? SariKNOTsari is self care when there’s nothing else you can do but watch people’s journey’s unfold, sometimes in ways that can be really uncomfortable.
If this resonates with you today, look around your house, find something that brings you joy and give yourself 10 seconds to feel it, smell it, hear it. Let it ground you. Life can be hard, but it’s beautiful. And the one thing you can control is your experience of it.
]]>It is a hard truth that you can't help make people whole by helping them bypass that suffering that leads to growth.
Sadly, a person needs to feel emotional pain and live within it as it cracks the rigidity of their bones and shapes them into the next version of themselves. Sometimes you have no choice but feel them feeling the pain and trust that it will help them grow.
There is so much we can’t control and it’s overwhelming and sad. BUT we have access to small wins that can help us weather the storm. For me, those wins are tied to my clothes and how I choose to show up.
I can wear clothes that connect me to the world and remind me that I have power to create change in small ways that are almost imperceptible, but contribute to a greater good.
I opt for comfort because I deserve it. There are enough opportunities for discomfort without me inventing my own.
I am so much more mindful about how I dress these days. It used to be about following trends and trying to look cute and now what I put on my body is a statement about my values. The things I can control and that I can be proud of.
If I find myself wearing the same pair of pants every day for a week, that’s a win! That means I’ve “bought less” and that I’m “wearing more”.
If I need to find inspiration, I look at jewellery that was handmade, where someone looked into their soul and found a way to express what was there in the artistry created by their hands.
And I reach for colour because the world is a bright place and I am blessed to be in it and sometimes I need reminding of that.
Where relationships and people we love are concerned, sometimes all we can do is leave space for people to grow, and for me, I need the serenity to accept that. But I do have the courage to change the things I can change, and I’m developing the wisdom to know the difference.
- Priya
]]>About a year ago, Shefali asked me a question about motherhood: Knowing what I know, would I do it again? “Of course,” was my immediate answer. And then came her harder question: Why?
“Perfection” was a lot easier when I was younger.
First of all, I didn’t know enough about the world to see all of it through a realistic lens. My rose-coloured glasses kept everything that wasn’t “perfect” blurry and out of focus.
As I get older and realize that perfection is and always was a myth. Imperfection allows me to make mistakes which create space for me to grow. Imperfection allows me to embrace more of this world and of myself.
There’s something scary about perfection. Perfection begs to be maintained, and it is so easily offended by reality. And I think that’s part of the reason I am so very okay with wearing clothing that is slightly flawed. If a piece of clothing comes pre-“flawed“, I feel less pressure for me to try to maintain the illusion of perfection. Flaws mean that that piece of clothing is real, and I think I’m ready for “real” with all that entails. 💪🏾
If there is perfection, it is fleeting, and that’s what makes it special, not the fact that it can be maintained forever.
What happened? Well, I think it may have started with the shoes. I can’t wear heels anymore. My life is too busy for me to be tottering around, hoping that my feet can keep up with the rest of me.
]]>Some of you may remember during my most recent IG live that Shefali, Mira and their friends walked through the store on their way in from a photo shoot and out to enjoy Friday night life. They were dressed to the nines in incredible fashions that showed off their personal style and their young bodies.
I used to be those girls.
I had boundless energy. I wanted to go out and have fun and I was happy to show all the leg I have!
What happened? Well, I think it may have started with the shoes. I can’t wear heels anymore. My life is too busy for me to be tottering around, hoping that my feet can keep up with the rest of me.
And I’m running out of energy. It’s not boundless anymore so I have to choose how I use it. I can only allot so much of it to the act of starting my day dressed and ready to go.
And…I don’t dress for other people anymore. Not to say that I was out to impress, it’s just that I wanted to be part of what everyone else was doing in fashion, so I played along by keeping up with trends that made me more acceptable. So people would feel comfortable with what they saw, even if they weren’t comfortable with who I was.
So maybe the difference is that I am more comfortable with who I am. People can like what I wear or not and I am now old enough to realize that that what they think not a reflection of me, but of themselves. Only I can define myself.
I still love to look good. To put on a pair of earrings that make me feel special. To walk into a room know that I’m turning heads, but I think now that I’m older, I want to be turning heads because of my confidence in myself and because people can see that I know who I am. I finally don’t need to show other people what I think THEY want to see. (That one took a long time for me to figure out – why the heck do I think that I know what other people want to see?)
So many times I have heard that youth is wasted on the young. I’m happy not to be a youth anymore. I don’t want to still be figuring every single thing out about how I fit into the world and whether or not who I am is acceptable to other people. I don’t want to dress a certain way because I’m concerned about how other people will define me.
I’m proud to say I’m finally defining myself.
By Priya Mohan
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